Introducing… The Squiggle Squad

Perhaps one of the more annoying aspects of the Hobby, particularly for autograph collectors (but we all can emote in some small way), is the growing trend amongst professional athletes to seemingly not take enough care and time when signing their certified autographed cards!

However, I can appreciate that the growing demands on the time for these people can be pretty huge, so to indulge in a monotonous ‘mass-signing’ task must be pretty soul destroying at times, and any conceivable way to speed things up is pretty much a necessity!

As a result we see the effects of what I call ‘BArely LegibLe Signature Syndrome’ or BALLS (for the purpose of a cheap laugh)!

Now I’m not tarnishing ALL ballplayers with the same brush as there are dozens of excellent signers out there, especially amongst the older players. There are some HOFer signatures that border on the downright exquisite, and there are a number of current signers could do well to learn a few things from these great gentlemen of the game when it comes to gracing Baseball cards with their own John Hancocks!

So it’s with the ‘corner-cutters’ in mind, those Baseball players who appear to suffer an acute case of BALLS, that I dedicate the 1st Annual Squiggle Squad Awards!

I know that everyone will have their own favourites, some of which will differ greatly to the ones here, but I’ve put mine down by position (which unfortunately meant I had to exclude Jason Heyward, whose auto is bad enough to warrant a special mention despite his absence from the list)!

Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado, I give you ‘The Squiggle Squad’!

Wilin Rosario


First Base
Paul Goldschmidt


Second Base
Dustin Pedroia


Third Base
Brett Lawrie


Ian Desmond


Left Field
Carl Crawford


Centre Field
Jon Jay


Right Field
Wil Myers


Tony Cingrani


Jim Johnson



You know, you’ve just gotta love that Wil Myers, haven’t you? And as a Cardinals fan – “Jon Jay!! You should be ashamed of yourself!!”

A huge congratulations to all the worthy recipients! You’re all a great credit to the world of crappy certified autograph signing!!

As I noted above, there are dozens of other potential winners of these ‘prestigious’ awards! If you’ve got a favourite then why not send it in with a link to the card and I’ll look at posting some more at some point in the future!


6 thoughts on “Introducing… The Squiggle Squad

  1. I think a MAJOR reason why is that learning cursive is going the way of the dodo bird. Ask any of your friends to write their name in cursive and you will be in for a surprise!

    1. Excellent point!

      Easily explains why the retired/HOFers have a lovely flowing signature while most current and up-and-coming players make a few ‘marks’ with a pen!!

      Doesn’t bode well for the future either I guess

  2. If these players are signing all the cards/stickers for free then I might give them a pass. I assume they’re getting paid for it. If so they should take the time to do it right or don’t agree to take the money. The squigglers are showing disrespect for their fans who are the ultimate consumers of the cards.

  3. Some of the signatures are probably illegible out of laziness, but I’m thinking that some of these players (maybe Goldschmidt and Myers in the above lineup) try to go for some kind of stylized marking that looks ‘cool.’ They might actually think that they are doing a favor to the fan by coming up with an icon-like signature. They may see their special way of writing theur name as something akin to a personal logo.

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